I have a real internal conflict which really comes into its own at this time of year especially.
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| image from weheartit.com |
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| image from wehearit.com |
I can sum it up simply like this:-
I.don't.drink.
You would think i'd just announced my mother (or stepmother) is an alien from the looks of horror I receive at this statement. Most people cannot understand the concept at all. I am now nearly 40 and I've not drunk at all. In my early years I have been cajoled into drinking and I used to accept drinks because I was too shy to say no but the fact is - I just don't like it.
It's really at this time of year though that it rears it (very) ugly head again when the party season kicks in. I am more than happy to have a Christmas meal or go for drinks but just 'not drink'. What bothers me the most about this is people's reactions ....
'you don't drink..' (aghast look on their face)
'oh yeah you're the weird one that doesn't drink' (smirks)
'so you don't drink, smoke or eat meat? f*ck what do you do for fun..'
which actually is the comment which really hurt the most this time. We had a meal and drinks last night and although I was in a room full of people I felt completely alone, was that because I wasn't drinking or other insecurities? I think mostly it was because I wasn't drinking I didn't feel like one of the 'in crowd'. I was still engaging in conversation but you always feel that little bit 'out of it' or not quite 'in on the joke' when everyone else is cracking up around you.
Last night I actually felt sad (and tearful) which again, may well have been due to other things, but mostly it was because once again I felt like a total outsider because i'm teetotal.
Oh and by the way, did I mention I don't smoke or eat meat -
but that's a whole other story entirely :o(
what are your thoughts? do you drink and or are you teetotal? have you felt the same or had the similar reactions? I'd also love to hear from you if you think that being teetotal is a turn off for men?
x
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